Myth: ‘You should never ask why someone is a single parent.’
Something I have noticed from my own experience and from speaking to the clients I work with is that there can be a veil of hush and secrecy that others put over our story as to how we came to be single parents. This can look like conversations being swiftly veered away from any mention of your single parent status from well-meaning friends or family omitting key parts of your family set-up when speaking with others. It can be done with the best of intentions so as not to make you feel uncomfortable, but a lot of the time this can make us feel like there is something wrong with our story, something so shameful that it can’t be spoken about. Our routes into single parenthood and our lived experience of single parenthood vary from person to person, some are rooted in positive stories others…not so much. However, whatever our story and how we have come to this point, it does not mean we do not want to talk about it. You may still be finding it difficult to share your story as you are working through those bigger emotions but I want to remind you that it is your story and you get to decide when, how, where and to whom you share it, and nobody else. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and in fact one of the best ways to lift the veil of secrecy is to be open and honest and tell others exactly what happened, how it felt or feels. It may feel uncomfortable at first but the more comfortable you get with doing this the more others will understand your story and not feel they need to avoid it to save your feelings. You don’t owe people details about your life, but you might be surprised at how much of a weight is lifted as you reclaim your own story. If you want to know where to start, choose a trusted friend to speak to first. So no, it's not that we can’t bear to talk about our story, it's that perhaps we haven't been given the opportunity to. Need help telling your story? I’d love to hear from you.
|
