From Burnout to Balance: A Single Parent’s Guide to Setting Boundaries That Work
If you’re a single parent, chances are your time, energy, and emotional bandwidth are in high demand. From school runs to work deadlines, co-parenting logistics to managing your own wellbeing, it’s easy to find yourself stretched to breaking point. And yet, the idea of setting boundaries can feel awkward, overwhelming, or even selfish.
But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t barriers, they’re lifelines. They protect your peace, your energy, and your ability to keep showing up, day after day, for yourself and your kids. In fact, setting boundaries is one of the most powerful tools you can use to create a life that actually works for you.
Let’s walk through three simple but powerful steps to help you confidently bring boundaries into your life, starting today.
Step One: Spot Where You Might Need Boundaries
Before you can set a boundary, you need to know where one is missing. Take a moment to look back over the past week and ask yourself:
When did I feel completely drained—physically, emotionally, mentally?
Were there moments of resentment or guilt?
Did I say “yes” when I really wanted to say “no”?
These red flags are your signal. Maybe you felt overwhelmed after agreeing to volunteer at your child’s school fair, even though your work week was jam-packed. Or your weekend was disrupted by constant texts from your co-parent. Perhaps you promised yourself a quiet evening, but guilt took over and you ended up staying up late tidying or overthinking.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying “no” to others, they’re also about saying “yes” to yourself. When you notice where you feel overextended, that’s your invitation to create space.
Step Two: Set the Boundary—Kindly but Clearly
Once you’ve identified what’s draining you, the next step is to define the boundary and get really clear on why it matters. That “why” becomes your anchor.
Ask yourself:
What am I protecting?
How do I want to feel instead?
When it comes to communicating your boundary with others try using what I call the Boundary Script, it lets you be honest without being confrontational. It’s thoughtful, respectful, and rooted in your needs.
Here’s the structure:
“I’ve noticed that…” (state the issue)
“I need…” (share what you need)
“From now on, I will…” (set your boundary)
“Instead, we can…” (optional—offer an alternative)
For example, maybe you’re constantly replying to messages late at night. Your boundary might sound like this:
“I’ve noticed I’ve been replying to messages into the evening, and I’m not getting time to unwind. From now on, I’ll only respond during work hours. Instead, we can catch up in the morning.”
Yes, there may be pushback. But that doesn’t mean your boundary is wrong, it just means it’s new. Stick with it. Be calm, repeat the message, and remember: boundaries are not about rejection, they’re about respect.
Step Three: Make the Boundary Stick
This is where things can get tricky. Setting a boundary is one thing, holding it is another. You might feel guilty, worry you’re being too harsh, or be tempted to fall back into old patterns. That’s normal. The key is to come back to your “why.”
Here are a few ways to stay on track:
Write the boundary down and keep it somewhere visible.
Share it with a friend who can gently keep you accountable.
Reflect regularly, ask yourself, “Is this still working for me?”
And don’t forget to set boundaries with yourself, too. These might include switching your phone off at 9PM, giving yourself permission to rest even when the laundry isn’t done, or challenging the voice that tells you you should always be doing more.
These quiet, everyday boundaries are just as powerful as the big ones. They show you and everyone around you that your needs matter.
Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect
Boundaries are not about shutting people out or making life harder. They’re about giving yourself the breathing space you need to live with more calm, clarity, and confidence. As a single parent, your time and energy are precious. Protecting them isn’t selfish, it’s essential.
So this week, take a moment to check in with yourself:
Where are you feeling stretched too thin?
What’s one small boundary you could introduce to reclaim some of your energy?
Start small. Be kind to yourself. And remember, your boundaries are allowed to evolve as your life does. You’re not failing by adjusting, you’re responding to what you need. And that, truly, is the foundation of a life you can feel proud of.
Work With Me
Seeking support via a single parent coach can provide you with valuable tools and personal insight to help you set boundaries that will be a game changer in your single parenting journey.
I help single parents, co-parents and solo parents who are struggling with burnout and feelings of guilt to find balance in their lives and build a life they love for them and their children.
If you’d like to find out more, book your free, no-obligation consultation call.