More Single Parent Myths, Busted!
Many of the challenges of single parenting come from the misconceptions and stigma surrounding single parenting. If you’re new to single parenting, the myths surrounding the title may be holding you back? Here, we discuss some more of the most common single parenting myths, and unpack the truth behind the statements.
If you would like one-to-one support building a life you love as a single parent, I’d love to work with you. Read more about my career services or contact me to find out how I can help you.
Myth: Becoming a single parent means you’ve failed
Busted! Unfortunately, there is still this idea out there that becoming a single parent means you’ve failed. It’s something I hear from others all the time whether it’s a throwaway comment, a look of pity, or just the way people talk about single parenthood as if it’s a last resort or something to be ashamed of.
Even if you know you’ve made the right choices for yourself and your family, it’s easy to start questioning this when you’re surrounded by messages that say you’ve somehow ‘fallen short’. For many single parents, the feeling of failure can be hard to shake. It’s so easy to believe that you’ve failed to keep your relationship together, failed to give your children a two-parent household, or failed to meet the expectations set by society, friends, family or even yourself. These thoughts can be overwhelming, and the sense of letting everyone down, including yourself, can linger long after your circumstances have changed.
BUT becoming a single parent does not mean you have failed. Life is unpredictable. Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control, and sometimes we make choices that are right for us and our children, even if they don’t fit the picture we once imagined. The truth is, you have already shown incredible strength by navigating the challenges that brought you here and by continuing to show up for your family every single day.
Single parenthood isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a testament to your strength, adaptability, and love for your children. The path may look different than you planned, but it’s yours, and you have every reason to be proud of how far you’ve come. Think of the other single parents you know - who you class any of them as a failure? I’d bet my life that you see them as some of the strongest, most impressive people you know. This is no coincidence: start recognising the same in yourself and give yourself credit for the life you’re building for you and your children. You are a success.
Read: Overcoming single parent guilt
Myth: There is no time for joy when parenting solo
Busted! This is one I hear all the time from people who aren’t single parents themselves. “You must never get a minute to yourself, let alone time to have any fun.” There’s an idea floating around that if you’re raising kids on your own, your life is just an endless to-do list with no space for laughter, fun, or any real joy.
And yes, solo parenting is full-on and there are days when it feels like you’re running on empty, but that doesn’t mean joy disappears the minute you become a single parent. In fact, some of the best, most genuine moments of happiness I’ve had, have come from the chaos and unpredictability of doing it all myself.
Joy doesn’t have to wait for perfect circumstances or a ‘someday’ when life is easier. Sometimes it’s found in the small stuff, a silly dance in the kitchen, a quiet cup of tea after bedtime, or even just five minutes of peace walking back from school drop off. Those moments are real, and they count. And maybe, just maybe, they’re enough.
Find moments for joy with our Single Parent Reset podcast.
Myth: ‘Once the divorce is sorted, co-parenting is, too.’
Busted! It can feel reassuring to believe that once the early days of separation or divorce are behind you and arrangements are in place, co-parenting is “sorted.” But the truth is that contrary to some beliefs, divorce and co-parenting arrangements aren’t really related. Many co-parents have never been married, and due to the ever-changing demands of parenting, family relationships are generally dealt with completely separately from a legal perspective.
Besides, co-parenting isn’t a fixed agreement, it’s a living relationship that shifts as your children grow, routines change, and new partners or siblings enter the picture. What worked in primary school may not work in secondary; even what worked last term may not work this one!
Unfortunately, this is true no matter how well you and your co-parent work together. Even in the most collaborative setups, life events, schedules, and children’s needs create new pinch points. In more strained dynamics, small wins can be followed by setbacks that feel disheartening, or even devastating. When what used to work stops working, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it simply means life has shifted, for you, your co-parent, or your child.
Ideally, you will be able to build in regular check-ins and make small tweaks so that your co-parenting arrangements fit your family as it changes. But if your co-parenting relationship doesn’t function the way you would like it to, looking after yourself, and making sure that you have healthy boundaries and support in place is key.
Read: Navigating the transition to single parenthood post-divorce.
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I help single parents, co-parents and solo parents who are struggling to overcome single parent stigma and build a life they love for them and their children. If you’d like to find out more, book your free, no-obligation consultation call.