How to Talk to Your Employer About a Change in Circumstances

2 Mar

When you’re a single parent, particularly a new single parent, trying to juggle it all, it makes a hell of a difference having the people around you on your side. That means at home, and in the workplace. When life takes a turn, whether it’s a separation, divorce, or transition into single parenthood, the impact often reaches far beyond home life. Work, once a familiar routine, can suddenly feel harder to manage. You might find yourself struggling to concentrate, juggling new childcare responsibilities, or feeling emotionally drained. The last thing you should do in this circumstance is use work as an escape.

If you’re facing a big life change, one of the most empowering steps you can take is to have an open, honest conversation with your employer. It’s not about oversharing; it’s about advocating for what you need to stay balanced and supported as you navigate this new chapter.

Acknowledge That Change Affects Work Too

We often feel pressure to keep personal struggles out of professional life, to “hold it together” and carry on as normal. But major life changes like divorce or transitioning to single parenthood can affect your focus, mood, and capacity. That’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a normal human response to stress and upheaval.

If you notice you’re finding it hard to meet deadlines, concentrate in meetings, or keep up with previous workloads, that’s a sign it might be time to reach out for support at work. Recognising this early allows you and your employer to find workable solutions together before strain builds up.

Feeling overwhelmed? You might also want to read our guide to Managing Overwhelm as a Single Parent

Be Clear About What You Need

Before you approach your manager, take a little time to think through what would help you most. Are you looking for temporary flexibility, perhaps starting or finishing later, or working from home a few days a week? Do you need time off to get legal or childcare arrangements in place? Or are you seeking emotional support, such as access to counselling or a wellbeing programme through work?

Being specific about what would make a difference helps guide the conversation. It also shows initiative and self-awareness, which will be qualities that your employer respects. If you’re unsure what you need long-term, be honest about that too. Sometimes just saying, “I’m going through a difficult period and may need some flexibility over the coming weeks” is enough to start a supportive dialogue.

Plan the Conversation

Choose a private setting where you won’t feel rushed. You might want to email in advance to request a meeting, framing it as a discussion about “a change in personal circumstances that may affect availability or workload.”

When you meet, keep your language calm and factual. You don’t owe anyone the full details of your separation or home situation. A simple explanation like, “I’m going through a change in my personal life and will be parenting on my own,” is usually enough context.

Then, shift the focus towards solutions. Explain how the company can support you in continuing to do your role well, and how you will continue to prioritise doing a great job as you always have. This approach turns what could feel like a vulnerable conversation into a collaborative one.

Explore Options Together

UK workplaces are increasingly aware of the need for flexibility, and employers have legal duties to consider flexible working requests. Options might include:

Adjusted hours or compressed working weeks.
Temporary or permanent remote working.
Short-term leave, either unpaid or compassionate.
A phased return if you’ve had to step away temporarily.
Access to employee wellbeing services.

Don’t be afraid to ask HR or your line manager about what’s available. Many employers appreciate being approached openly, as it allows them to plan effectively rather than respond to last-minute crises.

Our guide to How Employers Can Support Single Parents in the Workplace https://www.solascoaching.com/solas-blog/support-single-parent-employees may give you and your manager some ideas around what might work.

Give Yourself Credit

Having this conversation takes courage. It’s not easy to admit you need help or that your situation has changed, especially when you’re already carrying so much. But advocating for yourself is not only responsible, it’s a key part of rebuilding your confidence and creating stability.

By communicating clearly and asking for support, you’re setting the foundation for a work-life rhythm that works for your new reality. Remember, it’s okay to need time and space to adjust, this is part of your growth and resilience.

And if guilt starts to creep in (as it often does), remind yourself: you’re not just managing work; you’re leading your life through one of its hardest transitions. That deserves understanding, from yourself and from the people around you.

Work With Me

I help single parents, co-parents and solo parents to find balance in their lives and build a life they love for them and their children. I also work with businesses to make their workplaces more inclusive to single parents, and I am happy to reach out directly when referred by a single parent who needs help. If you’d like to find out more, book your free, no-obligation consultation call.

Want to hear more from me? Sign up to the free Solas Coaching single parenting newsletter below for help and advice straight to your inbox.

Orla Donoghue