Common Single Parent Myths: Busted!
Many of the challenges of single parenting come from the misconceptions and stigma surrounding single parenting. If you’re new to single parenting, are the myths attached to the title holding you back? Here, we discuss some of the most common single parenting myths, and unpack the truth behind the statements.
If you would like one-to-one support building a life you love as a single parent, I’d love to work with you. Read more about my career services or contact me to find out how I can help you.
Myth: Being a single parent means putting your dreams on hold
Busted! Too many people, including single parents themselves, believe that when raising kids on your own, your own life must be put on hold and all those dreams and aspirations you once held should wait until the children are grown up. It can seem that there is no time, energy or money left for pursuing what you really want as a single parent. And while of course being a single parent does mean that certain things may be off the table for now, that doesn’t mean that you completely put a halt on doing things for you.
The excuses are plentiful and real when it comes to why you can’t just go after what you really want, but I encourage you that if there is something that you just know you would love to do, but have been telling yourself now is just not the right time, reexamine this and make sure you are not using readily available excuses as a comfort blanket to avoid you stepping out of your comfort zone and giving yourself the permission to do something for you.
Maybe you can’t do everything right now, but could you take one tiny step towards your dream? You deserve to have things in your life that are for you, not just for your children, but for the person you are outside of being a parent. Remember, you don’t have to put your life on hold to be a good parent. In fact, by making space for your own dreams, you’re showing your children that their dreams matter too.
Myth: Nobody wants to date a single parent
Busted! One of the biggest beliefs that can hold single parents back from dating is the idea that no one would ever want to date them because they have kids. It’s easy to shut down the idea of dating completely by convincing ourselves that no one could possibly want to be with us because of the “baggage” we carry as single parents.
Well let me tell you right now, this is a myth that us single parents often keep alive ourselves. Some of you may be nodding along, agreeing with that inner voice that says, “No one would want to date me because I have children.” But the truth is, the idea that being a single parent makes you inherently undesirable is simply not true.
Yes, the prospect of dating can be terrifying for single parents, and it’s easy to mask our fear, nerves, or lack of confidence with the belief that we’re completely undesirable because we have children. We can even find comfort in this narrative, staying safe at home, rather than pushing past the fear and dipping our toes into the dating pool.
The truth is, there are plenty of people who will value and appreciate you, not in spite of your role as a parent, but because of it. Challenge the belief that being a single parent makes you undesirable. Instead of letting this myth hold you back, remind yourself that the right person will see your worth and embrace all that you are. Focus on building your confidence, knowing you don’t need to change or overcompensate to be worthy of love.
Read: Our guide to dating as a single parent
Myth: Single parenthood always follows a dramatic break up
Busted! There are so many ways to become a single parent. It can be through separation, divorce, adoption, fostering, bereavement or making the choice to raise a child alone. Whatever path led you here has shaped your experience, yet the wider world often fails to recognise this.
Too often, people assume that single parenthood must have come from a long, messy breakup. While that may be true for some, for many others, the journey has been one of empowerment, not just hardship. Yes, there may have been challenges, but it may also have been a liberating step, one that allowed you to step into a more confident, fulfilled version of yourself and the parent you always wanted to be.
Despite this, you may still find yourself on the receiving end of prying questions or assumptions, as if there must be a dramatic backstory. It can be frustrating when others search for where it all ‘went wrong’ instead of seeing and supporting you as you are now.
The reality is, there is no one story of single parenthood. And the more people understand the many different and positive paths that lead here, the more they can move past outdated stereotypes and offer the respect and support that single parents truly deserve.
Myth: Being a single parent is the worst case scenario
Busted! For many, there's a belief that being a single parent is the worst possible thing that could happen to you. However, as many of us single parents know, the reality couldn't be further from this misinformed myth. Yes, there are challenges that come with being a single parent, and during the transition into single parenthood, it can sometimes be hard to imagine any positive sides. But the truth is, there are so many positives to being a single parent.
The work we do as single parents should of course be celebrated and supported, but we should also take a moment to celebrate the very fact that we are single parents. This life, though challenging, is full of endless positives that we never would have experienced had we not embarked on the journey of single parenthood. For that, we are truly lucky.
Myth: Most single parents don’t work
Busted! Here we are in 2025, and unfortunately, this stereotype about single parents is still very much alive: ‘most single parents aren’t in work and are living off benefits’. However, a recent survey from Single Parent Rights found that 78% of single parents surveyed are in fact employed.
Far from the stereotype, single parents are amongst the most hardworking individuals in society, who play a pivotal role in the workforce. As the solo heads of their households, they juggle multiple roles, from caregiver to breadwinner, often working even harder to balance the demands of their careers and family life. This myth-busting statistic is just the start of the conversation we need to have about the immense value and contributions of single parents in the workplace.
Read: What are the best career options for single parents?
Myth: Co-parenting only works if you and your ex are best friends
Busted! Many people assume that the only way to have a harmonious co-parenting setup is to have an excellent relationship with your ex-partner. However, this is not the case. Many successful co-parenting families thrive even when the parents themselves may not see eye to eye. If both parents can communicate effectively, putting their children at the center of all discussions, they can move forward with their lives without being constantly in conflict.
Some people may find this difficult to believe, especially close friends and family members who might question how you can co-parent with someone who may have caused hurt within your family. However, it’s easy for them to sit back and offer opinions. You are the one living this reality every single day, and only you know what is best for you and your family.
So, if co-parenting successfully means that you’re not best friends with your ex but only communicate through email, as long as this works for you and your family, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Do not let other people’s opinions get in the way of you deciding what’s right for you. In time, you may open lines of communication, but maybe that will never happen. That does not mean you can’t form a strong co-parenting relationship where emotions are set aside and the children’s wellbeing is the focus.
Myth: Single parents feel seen and supported when people say “I just don’t know how you do it all”
Busted! We have all had it said to us at one point or another: that one phrase that people love to throw out in a show of support and awe at everything they think single parents do - “I just don’t know how you do it all”. Today, I want to shine a light on why in fact this is not a helpful comment for single parents to hear.
Why? Because rarely do the people saying the comment even consider the real reason behind why single parents are “doing it all”. Single parents strive for the absolute best for their families but unfortunately there are times when single parents feel like they need to go above and beyond what is needed just to make up for what they perceive they are lacking as a single parent. This overcompensating cycle can lead to single parents feeling exhausted and like they are just never good enough.
So instead of hearing “I just don’t know how you do it all” what single parents would actually much rather hear is “I admire your family so much and you are setting such a solid foundation for you and your children to thrive” This comment, instead of further embedding the idea that single parents have to be able to “do it all” shows an understanding and celebration of your unique family dynamic and that you are in fact more than enough for your kids and do not need to overcompensate for anything.
Myth: You should feel sorry for single parents at Christmas
Busted! It happens every December, someone will ask, perhaps with that nervous, pitying look, "So, what are you doing for Christmas?" They’re likely trying to be sensitive, knowing that the festive season can be a tricky time for single parents. But, let’s be honest, it can sometimes feel frustrating, as if they’re assuming that because you’re a single parent, your Christmas will be filled with doom and gloom.
Now, I’m not saying Christmas doesn’t come with its own set of challenges for single parents. Of course, it can be a tough time with all the extra pressures and emotional dynamics. But let’s face it: Christmas is challenging for everyone, regardless of their parenting status. There’s shopping to be done, expectations to juggle and family dynamics to navigate. But for single parents, there are also many positives to this time of year. You get to make your own traditions with your kids, celebrate Christmas your way, and take a moment to reflect on everything you’re doing for your family.
Instead of pity, what single parents truly need is recognition and support that acknowledges their strength and ability to thrive despite the challenges. We’re not asking for sympathy, we’re asking for understanding and a bit of respect for the ways we manage to make Christmas special, even when the circumstances aren’t always easy.
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